mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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