I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
