guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize