ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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