The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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