Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is Oprah even human
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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