Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
FUCK WHALES
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