THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
