Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
