think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
