I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
