When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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