whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
