So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
