Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize