This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
