Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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