its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
