everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
