I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
