I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
