May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
