She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
