I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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