i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
