i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
