is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
