How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
