Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
