I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
