the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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