Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
