I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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