her vagine was all disorganized.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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