Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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