At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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