I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
operation have a gay friend backfired
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
