I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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