I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
