dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
