ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
