my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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