I cannot find my penis.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize