All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Randomize
