Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
