my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
