So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
