I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
