You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need moral support for this bender
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
