Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
