Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
should my penis look like a turkey
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize