And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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