Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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