sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
