She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
