I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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