As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
