I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
