the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
