I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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