bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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