and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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